Trump’s Impact on Animals

Do you think about farmed pigs and chickens suffering in industrial warehouses? Elephants confined for entertainment in the circus? Aquatic animals suffocating from pollution and commercial fishing? The tragic fate of hunted bears? Dogs abused in puppy mills? Monkeys tortured in labs? The fires, floods, and deforestation destroying animals’ habitats and ending their lives in horrifying ways? People’s disregard for animals can cause compassionate people constant despair. Living in a

CDC Assures Americans Whatever Trump Has Isn’t Contagious

Dr. Anthony Fauci, the head of the National Institute of Allergies and Infectious Diseases, assured frightened Americans on Monday that Donald Trump’s personality disorder and other conditions, although cause for alarm, aren’t infectious. Fauci informed a worried public that they don’t need to wash their hands and face during Trump’s press conferences. “A sociopath dominates and humiliates their victims, manipulates and cons people, displays a grandiose sense of self, incapacity

An Argument Against Vegetarianism

In “I Admire Vegetarians. It’s a Choice I Won’t Ever Make,” Alicia Wittmeyer, the Senior Editor of the Opinion section of the New York Times, discusses her passion for eating animals even though she recognizes it’s immoral and harmful to the planet. She recalls hesitating to post an Instagram photo of a roasted pig with the pig’s head still attached because she didn’t want to flaunt meat in a socially

Trump Claims CDC Has Enough Coronavirus Test Kits for Every Stock

At the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) yesterday, Donald Trump reassured worried investors that the federal agency has enough test kits for every stock. He stated the CDC will test every company’s balance sheet to ensure liquidity and long-term health. Trump said, “A few stocks are not doing well. Some of them may not make it, but we have them quarantined. We told them they better get it

Pence Proposes Conversion Therapy for Coronavirus Victims

Vice-President Mike Pence announced plans today to put coronavirus victims through conversion therapy to rid them of the disease. “This isn’t how they were born–and this isn’t what God wants for them,” Pence explained. Pence directed victims to go to church, ask for forgiveness, and never tell their parents. Mother will assist with rehabilitation efforts. “We’ve redirected funding from the CDC to help them change their behavior,” Pence added. When

Trumpvirus Poses Major Threat to Nation

The CDC warned today that an outbreak of Trumpvirus presents a significant threat to the health of the nation. The CDC estimates that at least 70 million Americans have already been infected by the disease. Symptoms include a sudden inability to separate facts from fiction, an intense focus on a 401K account, a high tolerance level for criminal activity from a president, irrational fits of paranoia, general loathing of people

The End of Trump

He descended from an escalator breathing like Darth Vader boarding the rebel ship in the first scene of Star Wars. We’ve been aghast ever since. But we can see the end of this Evil Empire now. It’s only months away. But how exactly does this menacing villain meet his demise? Predicting the final episode doesn’t require George Lucas, J.J. Abrams, or any mental acuity–not even a Magic 8-Ball. We know

The Most Environmentally Sustainable Plant-Based Milk

Animal-based milk is cruel, unhealthy, and harms the planet, which is why I’ve been drinking plant-based milk since 1990. I previously wrote about the healthiest plant-based milk, but the healthiest plant-based milk isn’t necessarily the milk that does the least harm to the earth. The criteria for identifying the most eco-friendly plant-based milk includes production location (e.g., water-intensive nut grown in drought region), wildlife and natural habitat impact (e.g., bulldozing

Joaquin Didn’t Ruin Your Coffee

In the article “Thanks, Joaquin, for Ruining Our Coffee,” Boston Herald columnist and guy who has never heard of plant-based coffee creamers, Joe Fitzgerald, writes that Joaquin Phoenix’s Oscar acceptance speech was “intellectually barren and viscerally revolting.” He criticized Phoenix for not mentioning Puerto Rico where he was born, said he “he babbled for three minutes while squeamish viewers tried not to vomit,” referred to Phoenix as a “fool,” and

Four Years After Death

It has been four years since my father passed away. Over the past four years, I’ve shared the lessons I’ve learned from this experience to help others prepare for and cope with the grief that follows death. This year, I asked myself what I could share with you that I haven’t already, or that’s worth repeating. I’m not sure much changes now. There’s a lot of missing–times when loss feels especially sad.